Thank you (insert your God here) . . .
For the tortured beef that we are about to receive.
For this milk that creatures were raped to conceive.
For the pork that gave its all that we may feast.
For sparing us equal treatment of this beast.
For the mercy that we so readily denied.
For the poultry that we have killed and fried.
For Your compassion that forgives our sin.
For all the fish that we catch and de-fin.
For the creatures you place in our neglecting.
For closing Your eyes in our crimes detecting.
For Your blessing that we continue to abuse.
For the animal’s love we continually refuse.
(Insert your obligatory closing here)