I received an email last evening from a friend I’ve recently made acquaintance. In her polite and emotional manner, albeit reproach of me for “…throwing in the hat and giving up on writing poetry … This is the time to defend the defenseless–no matter the cost or weariness,” she said. Her name I withhold pending her approval.

I’ve always held quitters in contempt, and yet I may be guilty of the very same. Likewise, I’ve always held to the proposition that one must know their limits. Then what? Have I reached my limit, or have I thrown in the hat? It may be I’m using the former as an excuse. And even though my emotional limits are at times tested, should I not endure? For how not does my inner torment pale in comparison to the suffering of billions of animals and millions of people?

There is no comparison to be made.

In that light, I feel so petty, superficial, and childish.

Have I turned my back on the innocent for the luxury of relieving my own inner torment? A torment that would not exist if not for the suffering of the innocent. The mere suggestion of it would indicate so. And an honest self-reflection must confirm the matter.

I am sorry.

I’m sorry to the innocent suffering and I’m sorry to you, my fellow blogging friends for the selfish nonsense I’ve exhibited. I’ve been a slithering coward; and more so that I disabled comments to my previous post. I ask that you accept my apologies.

I shall not stop writing and posting poetry for those who have no voice, nor shall this be the end of Crows Head Soup.

In all of my life’s paths, confluences, and confusions, seemingly dead ends with mountains to scale and barriers to breach, it has taken a woman—once again—to bolster and rouse me to my senses.

Women, I hold you as an exemplary example of bravery and sensibility in a world saturated with insanity, cowardliness, and cruelty. I know there are exceptions, but not amongst you here.


  1. Our torment is not diminished nor unimportant because others [this includes all sentient beings] suffer perhaps more, we are all in this together and everyone is important.


      1. Yes, I like that saying, hadn’t heard it in a long time — it reminds me of this one too: An Injury To One Is An Injury To All.


  2. Peter, I’m so grateful you have rethought your decision to stop writing. I was deeply saddened by your announcement that your voice would be silenced. We need every voice of resistance to be raised for those who cannot speak for themselves. It is the diversity of our ways of speaking that gives the message power, each unique, and each reaching people in a different way. What is eloquence without heart? What is profundity without inspiring liberating action? Your contributions make me think deeply about issues for which I am truly thankful my friend.


  3. I’m sorry that I’ve been late to breaking events, Peter. While I respect yours or any bloggers decision to press pause or pump the brakes, I am also glad to hear that you have reconsidered the decision to end your blog. While I do not want your limits to be surpassed just for my sake, I agree with everyone else’s sentiments that you have a strong, clear voice that is sorely needed in the struggle for the dignity and liberation of all living beings.

    I have learned much from you, my friend, whom I’ve never actually met. We were not meant to love our captors but rather our fellow captives. You have taught me that animals also share our chains. If you ever need someone to chat with, please feel free to contact me any time. Peace to you and take care of yourself.


  4. I am a woman who spent years in rage at the treatment of women. I finally had to step back, and take a breath. My rage was so overwhelming that I couldn’t see anything else. I was injuring myself.

    I think that I have gone from seeing only that, to more than that. I hope.


    1. MK, I too know rage. Becoming a vegan and animal rights activist, seeing the horrors that these poor sentient beings senselessly endure rend the veil of my comfortable world exposing all the misery and pain of both non-human and human, and brought with it the realization that cruelty has well established itself on this planet in the form of governments, religions, and corporations, capturing the souls of many. This is a rage that we never truly contain only control, for it is a necessary part of our being, lest we chose oblivion—as so many have.

      I’m glad you found yourself in photography you are an artist, and I appreciate your work.

      Peace to you.


  5. Wow, Peter, I turn my back for a minute and so much can change in a person. Very unsettling. Though I suspect you have been grappling with this for some time now. You are very hard on yourself ( another reproach).
    I think I hear what you are saying. That you feel that the very thing that torments you is the thing that inspires you to write and this might make you feel exploitative?
    I deliberately say write, as you are very eloquent and insightful no matter what you write.
    I have considered you as one of my best blogger buddies and would be very sad to lose the contact. You put so much emotional energy into your writing, no wonder you feel burnt out, run dry, whatever. Time out is not a bad thing, as we often regain perspective in that space but don’t make it terminal. Keep on communicating in any way and in any form. You are your own worst critic.
    Warm wishes and cyber hugs { }


    1. Greetings Emy,

      This was something somewhat long consider but burned fiercely in the last few days. What draws my life’s’ attention, or so it seems, is the folly, the denial, the indifference, the whole of the earth’s insane madness, and rarely do I allow the scarcity of sanity to shine through, why I don’t know. And though I’ve seen it all along, that scarcity of goodness was here all along among my blogging friends.

      I suffered a momentary lapse of reason, awoken by the email I spoke.

      I’m glad I’ve reconsidered. Even though the time was brief, I suffered emptiness.

      Emy, I too consider you one of my best blogging buddies.

      Thank you for all your support and encouragement, and all that you do for the animals.



  6. Hey Peter…well as you know, I’m terrible at stopping by your place here and so many others. But I’m glad to see you;re sticking around. Seems we take 3 or 4 steps backwards every day in the areas so many of us hold dear. Be it animal activism, environment, peace, art, or my specialty…angry anti-war rant-preaching without an ounce of grammar.

    But! It all has its place and it all is needed so desperately in this empire of ours.

    It’s been a pleasure to make your acquaintance and I’ll do a better job of touching in with you.


    1. Hey Lens,

      Oh but I understand completely. And while I’ve stepped back, I’m now ready for more.

      As far as your specialty of, “angry anti-war rant-preaching without an ounce of grammar,” it is of the utmost unique art form and not unlike those who ventured the regions far beyond normality: Picasso or Dalí, Beethoven or Shakespeare; yours is daring and gives us pause to consider. I like it.

      Lens, I too am glad of our acquaintance.

      Rant in peace, my friend.


  7. I have been where you were, I thought you’d come back, (a girl on a Cloud’s prerogative of course), and I’m very glad you have, as your voice is a strong one out here in the wilderness.
    No apologies necessary – everyone wobbles.

    – sonmicloud


  8. Hi Peter,

    Frankly, I think I understand a bit of what you went through. I think it’s the curse of being a sensitive person–I have had many days and many times, I have been alone and also out in public with people and trying to put on a game face, when the realization of the daily horrors that animals go through, and even the daily horrors of people, perhaps less innocent and pure but also suffering terrible, stupid, exploitative pain and suffering–well it all becomes too much, it becomes overwhelming. “The world is just like this, it’s just awful, what good am I doing?” I don’t know. I have started and abandoned so many blog posts, just thinking, what’s the point? Do people really care about this more than the two minutes or so they are reading it? Anyway, I am a bit muddled here–because I think this stuff IS muddling–but you get the point.

    See, the opposite side of the coin with sensitivity is that it’s also good for doing beautiful things, or for shining a light on things that need to be seen. Which you do. And I hope you keep doing. The only advice I can try to give you–and I don’t take it often myself–is to try and lighten your load sometimes with the good things. The dumb cat videos, the dumber dog videos, the stories of conservationists helping animals, people fighting back–and sometimes winning–against corrupt governments. Balance. For all is not lost. Especially if you stay in the game. We need you. We all need you. Cheers 🙂


    1. Michael, I’m glad and honored to have made your acquaintance. It is good that one surround oneself with others of courage, of those possessing strong compassionate hearts coupled to wisdom and intelligence that go beyond cultural imperatives. Your understanding is a welcomed inspiration. That of which you spoke of public and private experiences mirror those of mine, the game face, though I’m rarely silent.

      Balance . . . well if not, at least to draw the scales closer, my friend.

      I’m in the game.

      Cheers to you, Michael.


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