A Holiday Prayer
In the spirit of this joyous time of feasting and giving, I offer this solemn appreciation, A Holiday Prayer for the Hypocrite of any Faith.
Thank you (insert your God here) . . .
For the tortured beef we are about to receive.
For the milk the creatures were raped to conceive.
For the pork that gave its all that we might feast.
For sparing us an equal treatment of the beast.
For Your mercy that we so readily denied.
For the poultry that we’ve killed and fried.
For Your compassion that forgives our sin.
For all the fish we catch and de-fin.
For the creatures you placed in our neglecting.
For closing Your eyes to our crimes unrelenting.
For the blessings we continually abuse.
For the animal rights we arrogantly refuse.
(Insert your obligatory closing here)